Part II: How Many is a Witness?

If I say I'm "done," I worry that most listeners translate that into modern usage meaning 'I'd rather eat glass than have another child!" (as one woman actually said to a mother of eight). Of course, I try to avoid getting into discussions of my family planning, but it seems to be considered a topic of general interest in today's world.

Why should others' misinterpretation be a source of anxiety? Because we were always told that having many children was a witness to the world. Obviously you wouldn't want to tell The World that you're done having God's blessings.

Now that I'm revisiting the question anew, I wonder: maybe God isn't more honored by six children than by four. And if those six children are birthed due to a philosophy of bondage that leaves a couple feeling as if they have no choice in the matter -- there's very little honor to God in that case.

It seems that God calls some families to show the blessedness of children in an out-of-the-ordinary way. Darren and I are very fortunate to know some large families (by which I mean eight to twelve children). These families are amazing -- the parents are amazing -- and when I'm with them I find myself thinking, "I could do this!" But the fact is, I don't think I could. Theirs is a special calling, like those who are called to the mission field and those who are called to work among the poor. We all can spread God's word, help the poor, and have families; but some are given an extra measure to go the extra mile.

It's not a good idea to hold these large families up as the ideal that we're all reaching for. Quiverfull, I'm looking at you.

-- SJ