The Duggars.
There, I mentioned them. A celebrity couple with nearly two dozen children doesn't profoundly influence my thoughts on children and family size, so I doubt I'll be referencing them from now on.
-- SJ
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Supersizing a family should not be on the menu. The word "stop" needs to be in these people's vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteIn my .02...
My thoughts on the Duggars - been thinking this thought for a year, never had a place to post it ;)
ReplyDeleteMy nana is one of twelve kids. And it wasn't a big deal. Many people she knew had 6-12 kids in their families. My nana is still alive and well, this is not ancient history. A few years later one family has 12 kids and all of the sudden it's a national travesty. I don't get it.
Nana wasn't paraded in front of a national television audience and her parents probably didn't think they were more in God's will than other people. That, more than the number of children, is the issue with the Duggars.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, your comment seems uncharitable. You may not agree with the Duggar family's priorities, which is your prerogative, but it's unnecessarily snarky and derogatory to talk about 'supersizing' and 'menu.' And imagine how offensive it would be if some militant QF type told a young couple with no kids, 'The word "start" needs to be in your vocabulary.' Stopping or starting, it's not anyone else's concern. You have no right to decide how large a family is too large for anyone else...only to discern what God calls you to do.
ReplyDeleteRachelle, I'm not aware of any quotes where the Duggars preach about being more in God's will than other people...is that something you've come across? If so, then I agree that THAT would be the real problem, not the actual number of kids they have. As for the TV audience, I just assumed that the opportunity to make money presented itself and they jumped on it, which is a pretty sensible thing to do when you have that many mouths to feed. I mean, I assumed they were in it for the money (legitimate), not the QF PR.
I haven't followed the show, nor do I really care how many kids they have. I'm just tired of people picking on them for the wrong reasons (TOO many kids! NO one should have THAT many kids!) when my main concern comes from an interview I read many years ago, when the mom explained that she weaned each baby as quickly as possible so she could get pregnant again. That just seemed unhealthy. But then again, that's just my opinion. It's not my business to dish out unsolicited medical advice.
I have no opinion on how many children other people should have. And I've never watched the show, so I probably should have no opinion at all. But I don't see how it can help but be harmful to family life to be on constant public display.
ReplyDeleteTo the person who didn't like my comment of supersizing a family... I do not believe that children are a "god" related necessity. I believe that it is a person's choice to have, or not to have, a child. I am pro choice, and I do not believe it is a "baby" in the first 48 hours of conception.
ReplyDeleteI didn't choose to terminate my pregnancy when I had the chance, but I am so glad it was MY choice to make, and not the choice of someone who didn't know me or my situation, leaving me without options that I am so glad I had available.
To those who wish to have, and can afford, and emotionally sustain many children, that's fine. I have no issue with those who have more than 2 or 4 or 8 children in a family. Anything over 12, to me, seems supersized, and I stand by my comment - regardless of whether one feels it's a choice of the woman, or a choice of divine intervention.
Yay Rose. Yay Anon. Disagreement fuels discussion. Civility keeps it contained.
ReplyDeleteNote to all: the pro-life/pro-choice issue is far too volatile for this blog to handle. It's not taboo: you're welcome to express your viewpoint. But please don't engage in debate about it. That's not what we're here to discuss.
-- SJ
Anonymous, I don't think that anyone is suggesting that children are a "God related necessity." If the Duggars have suggested that, then I would disagree with them. At issue is the freedom of anyone to have as many children as they choose.
ReplyDeleteFrom your comments, it appears that we are operating under distinctly different worldviews, so there's no point in either of us trying to persuade the other with an appeal to some absolute moral standard of authority that we wouldn't agree on. It appears that we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this.
I do find it ironic that you claim your right to make your choice to terminate your pregnancy, but then also claim the right to declare any family with over 12 children supersized. Frankly, this seems as arbitrary as choosing to believe that it is not a "baby" in the first 48 hours of conception.
But then, without a "God" worldview, we're all free to make up our own rules.
Per my comment of my choice - and/ or opinion -about my own child, I am not casting stones at anyone else and their choice to let a pregnancy be a god related option, or a personal choice option. I think if anyone is capable of loving, raising, affording (financially and otherwise) as many children as they can handle, then how lucky to be brought into a world where you are loved and cared for.
ReplyDeleteSo many children do not have that oppertunity, and long for someone to tuck them into bed at night, and sing them lullabies, and see them perfomr in a school play, or a sport. So many children left abandonded, and wanted by anyone, let alone their own parents.
just to clarify, I didn't make the comment of "my choice", being pro choice, to have my own baby as a suggestion that ALL women should have a baby. I actually saw a Dr about terminating my pregnancy and went to planned parenthood about an abortion. I decided, due to my own personal circumstances, so go through with a full term pregnancy, after I knew the fetus was healthy. And I did refer to the "baby" as an embryo, and a fetus, and not a baby until I was in my 3rd trimester. I tend to be more scientifical than spiritual in that sense - but I don't live my life surrounded by religion and what religion deems acceptable. That's just me.
As far as the Duggars, I think they (not all) happen to be obsessive in their need to have children. Hence my comment of a supersized family. It wasn't meant to be a comment directed at ALL families who have more than the typical 3 or 4 kids. It was a comment directed that the comment Sara made, which was also made at almost 1am in the morning.
I stick by the comment, I am not a personal fan of women who have children just to have them. I have family who have 13 (or more) kids, and I dislike all they do is have babies. But that's why America is great, we have the choice to have - or not to have - a pregnancy, or to avoid getting pregnant to begin with. Many women risk their lives to have such a freedom, the option to make a choice, to be held accountable to themselves (and to their god) not to someone who told them what to do.
While we may disagree on the reasons for what deems an appropriate reason for a pregnancy, or to keep the pregnancy, I agree that all children are blessings in their own way, and all children should be loved unconditionally and without regret.
I have no idea where my original comment went -how strange. In any event, if my previous reply is lost in internet-space, let me try to redefine what I intended to post...
ReplyDelete1. I went to a dr about terminating my pregnancy. I decided not too, but did refer to the "baby" as a embryo, then a fetus, and not a baby until my 3rd trimester. I tend to be more scientific than spiritual, procreation is not any different (for me).
2. I am pro choice, and am proud we are a country that supports that option. So many women flee their homeland, try to escape from rape and torture, face vaginal mutilation, and ongoing shame for being female. We live in a country that allows us to make decisions about our own bodies, whether it comes to vaccines, personal health care, what we eat, how much of it we eat, birth control, or termiations of pregnancy. I am not pro-abortion, meaning I do not condone it just because it available. I am pro-choice, meaning I believe it is the right of the woman (and her partner if that is the case) to make an informed decision, and then make the choice that is best for her/them. Had I had an abortion, no one would have faulted me for making that decision. I had more flack for keeping my pregnancy than terminating it. But it was my choice, and I am glad to have had the oppertunity to make that choice.
3. Any person who can love, afford (financially and/or otherwise) and invest their time and energy into more than 1 child, or 3 children, or 8 children is very lucky to have that available to offer. So many children are left to foster care, to orphanages, to the state, because no one is there to do any of those things. These children would give anything to have someone tuck them in bed, sing them a lullaby, show up for a school play or a sport... have a meal at a table with a family. While I have never been unfeeling to those children in need, I don't personally feel that more children need to be born into a world where they can not be loved, cared for, and raised by their biological parents.
4. All children are blessings in their own way, but should be loved unconditionally and without regret. If those 2 terms cannot be abided by, throughout the child's entire life (Sara understands what that comments means to me), then electing to be a parent may not be the right decision. The choice to be a parent comes with alot of individual thought and consideration - and because I do not believe that a pregnancy is "god" related - and believe that pregnancy is a personal choice, steps to prevent it should not be condemed.
5. Always willing to agree to disagree. I would like to say that the original post Sara made was about a family with 19 or 20 kids, and that to me is a "supersized" family. I have one child, that family is 20 times bigger than mine. Maybe that helps define my original comment.
Viewpoints expressed, points taken. Read and make your own decision. Duggar discussion closed.
ReplyDelete