Part VII: The Bottom Line

I hate the phrase "the bottom line." It's cliched and overdone. And like most cliched, overdone lines, it's an easy shorthand to say what I want to. All of which has nothing to do with the actual post. Now for our feature presentation.

When I wrote my original post, I didn't expect to continue it in a blog-length ramble of thoughts. I'm glad I did it, though. Whether or not it's been helpful for all of you reading, the act of organizing my thoughts, putting them up for public review, and then taking in your thoughtful comments has clarified my thinking.

My conclusion is one of those really annoying ones that don't actually follow the question. (Jesus' favorite kind of answer, incidentally.) The question, if you recall, was "Can I, as a Christian desiring to honor and obey God, ever decide that I am done having children?"

The answer that I'm hearing after all these weeks (months, actually, since my last baby's birth) is: "Know God better."

It isn't a matter of figuring out the right thing to do, and doing it. I've lived much of my life trying to do that, and God always frustrates my attempt. This dilemma is more an opportunity for me to sit with God and talk over all these thoughts -- over and over and over -- and learn Who He is. Maybe He'll give me an answer one day, but I don't think He's really all that interested in knowing how well I score on my final exam. He'd rather I just get to know Him better.

I think He does let us make our own decisions, but we should always be willing to change if that's what He wants us to do. In other words, I can give away all my baby stuff in a year or two, but should be willing to go carseat shopping again if I need to.

I do feel more comfortable saying that I don't want to have any more children. I see more clearly how much of the Quiverfull philosophy is based on random Bible verses (including poetry) and underlying assumptions. I also realize that God hasn't patted me on the back and said, "Yes, I see your point. Okay, we'll work together, and you can be sure that you won't have any more children."

But I do think He has touched my hand and said, "I hear you. Come and know Me better."

-- SJ